current residents

These are the dogs currently living at our sanctuary. All of our dogs live in our home as family members. We don’t use kennels or cages or outbuildings. Our dogs spend their days on the couch watching tv, lounging in front of the wood burning stove, begging for more food and sleeping in my bed at night. We have four acres for them to roam, but I find they prefer being in my lap and following me to the bathroom.


Bob

So, if you are unfortunate enough to land at the Sanctuary during December, you get a Christmas-themed name. I LOVE Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, (Erik HATES A Christmas Carol because he worked in theatre for most of his life) but I know he’s wrong, so here’s Bob Cratchit. (We’ve also had Dickens, Ebenezer, and Martha…you know, “it’s such a goose, Martha”…and we currently have Topper for those keeping track. We can’t have Marley because it’s the most overused dog name in history, and my brother-in-law’s name was Fred, so that’s a no-go. I do have a tarantula named Tiny Tim and two Euromastyx lizards who are The Fezziwigs, but I digress).

Okay, so I was told by the shelter that Bob was a sweet, old poodle. Well, he is sweet, but that’s about all that was true. He’s actually a wirehair dachshund mix, and he’s very young. But I LOVE him. He’s funny, sweet, super friendly, smart, and affectionate. Sometimes I feel like when I get a young dog by mistake, it is just the Universe giving me a little reward…you know, like a dog that might not drop dead in the next week.

The reason I know Bob is young is that he still has his testicles, and they are as firm as sugar plums. Most old dog testicles are more like the shriveled raisins you find in Aunt Bertha’s stale fruit cake. And the beautiful thing about Bob? He loves showcasing his balls. All the time. In every photo of Bob, he shares his most glorious attributes. Unfortunately, at some point, they’ll have to go, but we will let the world see them first. I’m sharing this one photo, but if you find yourself wanting more, you’ll have to subscribe to his Only Fans account.


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Chester

Chester is a 18-year-old Chihuahua. He is tiny…like three pounds. The kind of dog little girls dream about. He came from a hoarder where he lived outside with 70 other dogs. He survived the winters by crawling underneath the other dogs to stay warm. Sort of like Luke Skywalker getting inside the tauntaun’s warm carcass. When he was rescued he had a stick that was duct taped to his leg, which had been broken but had also healed.

Chester loves to pee on everything. Beds, pillows, other dogs, guests. When he doesn’t feel well he climbs into the kleenex box on my nightstand. He refuses to have his nails clipped (making him look a bit like Mr. Burns when he rubs his long skinny fingers together and says “Excellent”). Chester can make your ears bleed with his bark. However, his real gift is that when he begs he can cry real tears. Sara McLaughlin and the Humane Society have nothin’ on Chester.


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Fig

Fig is our youngest dog. He’s about five. Being a Chihuahua means he is crazy. Being a Chihuahua with a brain injury means he is off-the-charts psycho.

Kicked in the head as a baby by some lovely person, he was seized from said lovely person, hospitalized and then taken to the shelter where he was subsequently adopted. His adoring new parents, who promised to love and cherish him forever, apparently spent most of their time chasing and threatening him in an attempt to housebreak him. When they weren’t doing that, they were trying to forcibly restrain him so they could clip his nails. I guess all of this quality time got old, and they dumped him back at the shelter after a few short months. So much for forever. I said no to taking Fig five times. But when he ended up on the euthanasia list I caved. Fun fact: I suck at saying no (though I practice on my husband frequently). If I say no once, it’s a pretty safe bet you just gotta ask again. Or four more times, as in Fig’s case.

Fig is super-sweet – loves to be cuddled and held, but he’s highly unpredictable. He has shrieking spells where even he is left wondering WTF. He’s terrified of bananas, will kiss you and then bite you in the span of a fraction of a second, pukes when nervous, sucks on your finger, rolls in disgusting substances to make himself more interesting, and has seizures. His head is misshapen, and his tongue hangs out for no apparent reason, but when he curls up into a tiny ball to sleep (like a psychotic gerbil) your heart will almost burst from the adorableness of it all.


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Hamlet

Hamlet (or Hami as we like to call him) is n 8-year-old mutt.

Put in a box at eight weeks old, driven to the desert, and abandoned, his life didn’t start out so great. Then Animal Control found the box. So that was great. Hami is one lucky dog.

He suffers from Cerebellar Hypoplasia, meaning his brain stem isn’t fully developed so he suffers from constant tremors and instability (probably why he found himself in a box in the desert). Think of a drunken toddler. That’s Hami.

Despite his disability, he is fierce. He is always up for a fight…he is the bravest dog I know. He’s small but thinks nothing of taking on our 185-pound Great Pyrenees; he is very strong and can pull himself up on the couch. Like those old-timey weight lifters with huge pecs and arms but with tiny waists and shriveled legs. He can't do stairs. At all. He throws himself off furniture like an acrobat. The only time he is still is when he is completely asleep.

Like all of us who were traumatized in our early years, and have an anxious attachment style, Hami shows his love by biting. Specifically biting your shins when you walk into a room. Friends of mine know this and wear protective gear when visiting. As the Def Lepard song goes, Loves Bites. Indeed.


Ilsa

Ilsa is an old pug, and she’s huge. Like not even close to the size of a normal pug, but looks exactly like a pug. Like one of those old sci-fi movies from the 1950s where a normal-sized animal gets hit with some massive radiation and becomes a giant size. That’s Ilsa. She’s demanding, entitled, loves to talk, and snores loudly.

She loves to fight. She waits to eat her meals to lure unsuspecting dogs over and then tries to kill them. It makes her happy. Gleeful really. She loves to fight so much that she becomes a bodyguard to other dogs who have treats or are eating their meals. She’ll stand in front of them and try to fight other dogs that might get close. So yeah, being a jerk by proxy. Her perfect career would have been as a bouncer at Roadhouse. Funny enough, I named her after the beautiful, delicate character Ilsa Lund in Casablanca. Of all the gin joints in all the world and she had to walk into mine.

Ilsa’s other main talent is looking bored. And disappointed. Make no mistake, she’s judging you.


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Lolly

So Lolly is a tiny little thing, about three pounds at the most. But her personality is about three tons. She is spoiled, entitled, and adorable.

I was recently reading a book that reminded me of Lolly. It was called “The Girl with the Louding Voice” and never has there been a better description for anyone or anything. She loves to bark. In your face and really, really loud. She knows she’s too tiny and cute to be punished. She also loves to howl. And it’s the most horrible thing you’ve ever heard.

Lolly is about 12 years old and was found as a stray wearing a coat that was too small and had rubbed all the fur off her legs, belly, and chest. They had to cut her out of it. She is also missing all of her teeth.

She’s never eaten a meal out of her own bowl. She steals bites and morsels out of everyone else’s bowl. I guess this is a carryover from her days of foraging as a stray, or probably more likely, just her beautiful mean girl way of showing everyone else she can.


Lulu

Lulu was actually born here at the Sanctuary along with her siblings, Smokey Joe and Melody. I had rescued an old stray dog (Stella) from a rural shelter in New Mexico. I didn’t realize she was pregnant, and since I have trust issues, especially with people who only want puppies, I decided to keep them. Well, now they are all old, so they qualify as residents of Little Old Dog Sanctuary.

Lulu is very smart. Like way smarter than all the other dogs here. She’s also a milkbone junky. And Sparky is her dealer. Lulu is also a prepper and will never go hungry when the apocolypse comes as she has about 1500 milkbones buried in the house and yard. They are literally everywhere. She is smart enough to where if one of the other dogs have a bone she will create a diversion and while the other dogs are investigating, she’ll steal the bone. Smart girl.


Mabel

Mabel is the sweetest of the sweet. We call her Maple because she’s as sweet as maple syrup. She came to us from an abusive situation. When we got her she was terrified of us and the other dogs. She would sleep in a bed way across the room and would often hide her head under a blanket when she was stressed or scared. She is particularly scared of the floor cleaner. Or any kind of cleaning…making her my spirit animal and also giving me a good reason not to clean. It took her years to come out of her shell and start to interact with us. She’s about 13 years old and is completely blind. She has become the emotional support dog to other blind dogs here, like the late Irving and Story.

She’s a total anomaly because she’s a chihuahua, yet she’s not a total asshole. IYKYK.


Melody

Melody was actually born here at the Sanctuary along with her siblings, Smokey Joe and Lulu. I had rescued an old stray dog (Stella) from a rural shelter in New Mexico. I didn’t realize she was pregnant, and since I have trust issues, especially with people who only want puppies, I decided to keep them. Well, now they are all old, so they qualify as residents of Little Old Dog Sanctuary.

Melody is kind of a jerk. Her hobby is fighting Ilsa and stalking Lolly. But she is Fig’s only friend and spends a lot of time cleaning his ears, so I guess she’s not all bad.

Melody loves to eat and has a thyroid issue so she tends to be a bit on the bigger side (but we know it’s not polite to comment on bodies). She was first born and my son named her Melody after Melody Pond from Doctor Who.


Priscilla

So when I rescued Priscilla (many years ago) she had been picked up for like the tenth time by animal control. Her owners decided they just didn’t want her back this time. Until they found out she was pregnant. Then they decided that they wanted the puppies, but not her. People are fucking evil. Luckily, the shelter said no way to that request. Priscilla was probably only about three when we rescued her, but now she’s about 13.

When we got Priscilla we made her this amazing whelping box but she proceeded to have her babies in my bed under the covers instead. We adopted all the puppies out - worst experience ever - puppies bring crazy people out of the woodwork.

Priscilla is smart and sassy. She sees herself as a big dog and likes to be outside (probably why she was always running away from her previous home). She has acres to roam here, so it works out well.


Smokey Joe

Smokey Joe was actually born here at the Sanctuary along with her siblings, Lulu and Melody. I had rescued an old stray dog (Stella) from a rural shelter in New Mexico. I didn’t realize she was pregnant, and since I have trust issues, especially with people who only want puppies, I decided to keep them. Well, now they are all old, so they qualify as residents of Little Old Dog Sanctuary.

Smokey Joe has many frenemies here. Bob and Hamlet the main two. He’s kind of a bully, but Hamlet is too, so he gives him a run for his money.

Smokey’s favorite thing in the ENTIRE world is to be sung to. Happy Birthday is his favorite tune. He goes absolutely crazy over it. So we pretend like its his birthday at least once a month.


Sparky

Sparky is a 14 year old beagle. He has a tragic past. His owner was involved in a double-murder suicide and Sparky was there when it happened and for a few days afterwards. We took him in from Colorado Beagle Rescue who was looking for placement for him.

Sparky immediately fell in love with Erik and Erik with Sparky (as evidenced by the gianormous bed on a bed in the photo).

To say Sparky is demanding would be an understatement. He is by far the neediest, most demanding dog I’ve ever seen…and I’ve seen a lot. Sparky suffers from Cushing’s disease so he drinks a lot of water and has to pee about every hour of the day and night. He hates being outside though, so you find yourself letting him in and out constantly. And if you aren’t doing that, he’s barking at you in a very loud and obnoxious way trying to get food. To say that he’s food motivated is also an understatement.

He does have a fair amount of separation anxiety, probably due to the circumstances surrounding his owner. I have to say we’ve often speculated that living with Sparky and listening to him bark NON-STOP might have had something to do with the double murder suicide, as the thought has crossed all of our minds. But in all seriousness we love Sparky and so glad he’s here living his best life.


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Story

Story is a 18-year-old Chihuahua/harp seal mix. He’s missing one eye and blind in the other. He has no teeth and is very round. He was found in a field in the middle of nowhere with a stick in his eye. So they took it out (the stick and the eye).

Story has gotten quite fragile in his old age. He has balance issues so you have to constantly stand him back up. He has neurological issues and has seizures. He is incontinent as well but we love him despite everything. He used to love to fight with Icarus, another old blind chihuahua, but once Icky died Story went into retirement. He reminds me of Burgess Meredith from Rocky.